A lot of people have asked how to make friends and initially, I think something humble like I don’t really have that many friends but I really do have an amazing social circle. And I’m very grateful for everyone that would consider me a friend then to honestly answer them.
I’d simply say I deserve them. Now I might sound cocky at first and even a bit obnoxious but hear me out. One of my favorite quotes is by Charlie Munger to get what you want. You have to deserve what you want.
The world is not yet a crazy enough place to reward a whole bunch of undeserving people. So, what this mean. Simply is that the world is a pretty fair place by the laws of physics and economics and other natural rules.
You just have to play by those rules. If you’re a little confused don’t worry I’m gonna give you a few examples to help illustrate this point. It’s called the deserving factor whatever you have in your life right now. You most likely deserve it. If where you want to be in life is different from where. You are now you must deserve to be in a different place.
How to Make Friends – Example 1: MY BODY
Last year, I was a bit chubby but not really overweight why because I deserved that body. I wasn’t educated on how to eat correctly. I wasn’t going to the gym enough and I certainly wasn’t tracking any fitness goals.
Now I am in much better shape with a better-looking body and honestly, I feel full of energy why because now I actually deserve it. See I’ve experimented with a keto diet and a vegan diet and a carnivore diet and a few other meal plans.
Just to find out what works best for my body. This year is also the first year. I’ve been in the gym consistently and I’ve never missed a week. It’s actually the first year I hired someone to help me lose weight.
I actually lost 20 pounds in 3 months while gaining strength with the help of Kevin. I got serious I put in the work and now I deserve the body that I have does that make sense.
Example 2: Finances
Let’s say you want to make a million dollars. Well following this principle you need to deserve a million dollars. The problem here is the same as getting the body that you want. Most people do know what it takes to get the body.
They want and they know what they must do to reach their financial goals but the problem is they don’t actually do it simply knowing usual does not add to your deserving factor doing does add to it.
Though Tony Robbins might have said, its best knowledge is not power. Its potential power. Knowledge is not mastery. execution is mastery.
Execution of Trump’s knowledge every day of the week. For example, researching which real estate deals to invest in will add to your deserving factor just a little bit but actually investing in those deals will add a heck of a lot more.
Diligently investing five hundred dollars per month into an IRA and buying boring index funds will add to your deserving factor and so will tracking your expenses every week. However, most people don’t do this. they spin the money as it grows on rainbow-colored trees and they rarely bother to invest and when they do.
They usually invest in buying random stocks and hoping the price will go up/ surely enough they don’t deserve to earn a million dollars. You want an even better example. What about the people who win the lottery. Millions and millions of dollars or one but you know the famous statistic. Most of them never keep money.
They have for more than two years and why is that it’s because they didn’t deserve that money and because of that it left them.
The same as if you get a six-pack but then you stop going to the gym you will stop deserving what you have. So let’s move on to our third and final example.
Example 3: Friends
By following our examples we can apply the same principle to having friends. If you want to make friends, you must deserve them but what does it take to actually deserve an amazing friend. Well, I’m gonna give you four simple things. You can do to skyrocket your deserving factor of having friends.
1. Do Not Judge For Making Friends
I have developed a priceless skill to listen to people and ask them questions without showing any judgment and you might think. This is easy but it’s not most people show certain emotions through their face or body language.
However, whenever you can remain non-judgmental when someone is telling you something. They will keep talking and as they continue talking especially. If it’s about something someone else would speak their opinion on. They will start to trust you more.
And you know when you see Joe Rogan or tom bill you interview their guests. They never show judgment on who they’re interviewing and it shows with how comfortable the interviewee is tip.
2. Be Approachable
Maybe right now you don’t feel comfortable approaching others and you want friends to just magically come up to you and start talking to you. If you wish for this to happen you yourself must be approachable.
his means things like being well-dressed, smiling, decent, and trying not to look closed off. It also means maintaining a reputation of kindness and openness,
Attempting to be approachable isn’t difficult but rarely do people actually put thought into it.
3. Putting Effort Into It
The truth is most of the time others will not come up to you magically and start talking. The truth is you have to put in the work. You have to put effort into finding friends. If you don’t have any friends right now.
What does that mean? It means that your friends are currently in the strangers’ category. This means you have to go out and attempt to approach strangers for them to recategorize from strangers to friends and by doing so. You increase your deserving factor of having friends.
4. Friends Skills
One thing that helps with putting effort into finding friends and increasing your friendship deserving factor is to develop friendship skills. Just like any other skill-building and maintaining high-quality friendships is one that can actually be worked on and developed. Even if you’re an introvert our bodies.
See our brains are literally built in a way that we need friends. I have all kinds of tricks, so to say for approaching strangers without having anxiety. How to have a conversation when you don’t know what to say and even how to end the conversation politely without awkwardness.
Which is something I’ve found a lot of people struggle with and in the past few years I found that these aren’t tricks to make people like you? Instead, these are tricks to make yourself more confident. Trick yourself into lowering your anxiety.
Making yourself more likable. It’s not about tricking other people. It’s about changing yourself. So, maybe you are ready to work on yourself and increase your deserving factor.